


Nightmare Buddies

by Ohshitmyship



Series: Just Avengers Things [2]
Category: MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Feelings, I just like the ideas of their relationship, M/M, Some angst, talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 13:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17366855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohshitmyship/pseuds/Ohshitmyship
Summary: Tony Stark and Bucky Barnes have a handful of things in common, one of them being insomnia due to nightmares. During a particularly rough night, the two share a bowl of sweets and talk.





	Nightmare Buddies

Tony was stumbling his way into the kitchen to make himself something- coffee, tea, warm milk with honey,  _ something _ \- when he stopped dead.

He heard a noise. Someone opening the fridge, likely. There had been no alarms and a check on his phone with FRIDAY confirmed no intruders. So one of their own. Tony crept around the corner and leaned his head into the kitchen, seeing no one. The fridge was shut and a bowl was on the counter. He slowly walked into the room, keeping his ears and eyes open. Suddenly, a hand grabbed his wrist and whipped him around, pinning him against the metallic wall with a soft thud. 

“Oh, sorry Stark.”

“Bucky?”

The ex-soldier let him go and backed away, scratching at his head as he returned to the fridge.

“Can’t sleep?”

Tony shook his head, then remembered that the kitchen was dark and spoke, “Nah. Up late working. Please tell me you’re going to wash out your sheets, especially up this late.”

“Steve’s asleep.”

Tony scoffed, “So he’s that kinda guy? Finishes and passes out.”

“You and I both know that Steve has more stamina than both of us combined.”

“Okay,” Tony said curtly, looking over Bucky’s shoulder in the fridge, “I’ve heard enough about your sex life, at least while sober. Whatcha making?”

“Warm honeyed milk and mangoes.”

“Sounds good – mind making a second one?”

“Sure,” Bucky replied easily, “I usually make two, but Steve is having a good night.”

“Ah,” Tony said, understanding, “nightmares.”

Bucky hummed as he put milk in a measuring cup and then in the microwave, turning it on silent, “They suck, but we’re used to them. I guess it’s just normal considering what we’ve gone through.”

“No offence to Steve,” Tony said, leaning against the counter, “but I think you had it way worse – nightmares can’t be very good for you at all.”

Bucky shrugged, “Yeah, being raised as a soldier, fighting in a world war, getting captured and experimented on, falling to my almost death, getting captured and experimented on again, being turned into an assassin to kill my friends and countless others, being told to kill Steve, turning to ash, fighting aliens….fucks you up.”

“Can’t really relate to much of that,” Tony said with a sigh, “but I was taken captive too. Not a great experience. Died for a short while after falling from space, plus the whole Ultron thing. Fun times.”

“You weren’t up working,” Bucky observed calmly as he chopped mangoes, putting them into two bowls, “You were sleeping. Had a nightmare, so you came here.”

“And then you scared me half to death.”

“I’m not as assassin anymore, but I still have the instincts. Besides, I didn’t hurt you.”

“Touché.”

“What was yours about?” Bucky asked casually, taking the milk from the microwave and stirring honey in.

“That’s a bit personal, don’t you think?”

Bucky shrugged as he stirred, “It helps to talk it out. S’what Steve and I do.”

Tony sighed, “Well, I was in the desert. I’m in a shabby suit of armor that could fail at any second. I keep trying to call for FRIDAY and JARVIS but they can’t respond because they don’t exist in the suit yet. I’m being shot at with my own bullets as the armor starts falling off of me. A missile hits me, and I wake up.”

“Tough,” Bucky says with sympathy, “not a pleasant dream.”

“No,” Tony admits, “what about you?”

Bucky shrugs as he pours the milk over the fruit, “I’m hurting people and I watch from outside my body, begging myself to stop, but I can’t, I don’t even remember who I am, so how can I listen to this person? My mind is split in two and I’m in so much pain as I kill those in front of me. Sometimes I manage to wake myself up, sometimes their deaths do. Sometimes I make it all the way back to the freezer. Depends.”

“Who do you see?” Tony asks then, softly.

“It changes. Sometimes it’s older missions, people who I really did kill. A lot of the times it’s my freinds. Those hurt more, but I can wake myself up faster that way. The worst ones are Steve. I get hysterical and I can’t wake up.”

“Ah.”

“‘Ah’ indeed. Here.”

Bucky hands Tony a bowl and a spoon, and the two of them eat the dish.

“It’s very good,” Tony says.

“It’s better in Wakanda,” Bucky replies, “they add spices and sugar and stuff, sometimes rice. This is way more bland, but it’s quick and quiet, puts me to sleep better.”

“Good stuff. How is Wakanda, by the way? And are you officially living here now or…?”

“Wakanda is amazing,” Bucky says with a smile, “everything I need. I’m a citizen there so I have a home. As for official, well, Steve and I are figuring it out. He kinda wants to say here for a bit and try to mend the team but I want to go to Wakanda and stay. We’re going to stay together, but we’ll find a compromise. T’challa wants me to work for him.”

“Oh.” Tony had kind of known that Steve and Bucky were arguing about something. Not passionately, but they disagreed. He knew Bucky and Steve were welcome guests to Wakanda, as well as the rest of the Avengers. But he did not know that T’challa wanted Bucky to work for him, “As a spy?”

Bucky nodded, “I can go places where his spies would be noticed. I can use my privilege as well as my past to extend his reach. Steve wants to do the same and be with me but….”

“Steve is too high-profile,” Tony finished. It was true, the two most prolific members were himself and Steve. Tony was a celebrity while Steve was an historic icon, hard for them to go undercover anywhere.

“Steve is an amazing combatant and I love him to death but,” Bucky sighed, “he’s not a very good spy. Ambassador to Wakanda, sure. Warrior? Yes. Diplomat? Course. But his face is too well-known. Mine is, to an extent. But I know how to hide. Steve never knew that, even when we were kids.”

“So what’ll you do?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky admitted, looking into his bowl as if it would show him an answer, “My preferred plan would be for both of us to go to Wakanda, Steve acting as a diplomat and independent agent, while I worked underground. We’ll figure it out though, I’m sure.”

“I hope so. You guys make a cute couple.”

Bucky chuckled, “Your father thought so too. Always teased us about how it was one big love triangle, and who would Steve choose –childhood best friend, or badass military commander?”

“Do you ever wonder….” Tony started, “what it would be like if you hadn’t gone under? What would’ve happened?”

“Steve would have won the war and married Peggy,” Bucky replied without hesitation, “I would’ve been his best man and settled down with some nice dame. We would’ve never spoken of our moments together, raised some cute and reckless kids who would’ve been showered with fancy toys from Stark and you would’ve seen us as cool uncles. We would probably be dead by now, just old war vets and nothing more.”

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this…” Tony observed.

Bucky shrugged, “I think about it a lot. I wonder what I would’ve had to sacrifice if it meant I didn’t have to go through this pain. I’m ecstatic that I can be with Steve like we always wanted, but the road...I just wish it would have been different. I’ll never outlive the things I did, although I outlive the people I did it to.”

“I feel that,” Tony mumbled as he took a spoonful. Then he noticed that Bucky seemed to be looking at him weirdly, “What?”

“I don’t think I ever apologized,” Bucky said after a moment, “For killing your parents.”

An old, old wound that still hurt. Tony sighed and put the bowl down, “It’s late.”

“I know. I still want to apologize.”

“I…” Tony took a shaky breath, “I know you were under when you did it, but I don’t know if I can ever really forgive you. You’re an ally and a damn good team member, but you can never be my friend. It’s just...it’s so hard to look past.”

“That’s alright,” Bucky said plainly, “I didn’t expect you to forgive me, and I highly doubt that’ll ever change. I just, y’know, wanted to say I’m sorry for killing them. It probably doesn’t matter, but I feel guilty about them probably the most. More than Kennedy, which is saying something.”

Tony blamed the implication of John F. Kennedy’s assassination on their lack of sleep and ignored it for the time being, “I appreciate it. I guess it shows you care. Still kinda hate you though.”

“You too Stark.”

The two chuckled quietly and Tony finished his bowl, setting it down in the sink, “Well, thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Sure, Stark. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Bucky.”

After that, they both slept well, with peaceful dreams of better times. 


End file.
